How would you feel if a business you had built up for over 30 years was slipping away from you due to an unknown natural change in life? That change was menopause and this is a true story.
“The most difficult thing I have had to overcome in my life.”
These words are striking and the reason why I wanted to switch my awareness this month from employed to self employed and the impact menopause can have when there is no workplace support, no sick pay, no private health care, no family to support and you are the sole earner.
I cannot say this phrase enough – there is ‘NO ONE SIZE FITS ALL’ menopause experience and that includes symptoms, impact at home and on personal relationships, your career and YOU.
Once again, I am privileged to have this month’s blog supported by a lady I first met back in 2020 when she joined one of my presentations for individuals. Following that first meeting we booked a 121 session and it was a session I will never forget, as I was on zoom with a truly broken lady, who couldn’t speak due to overwhelming emotion.
However, this blog gives you an insight into how she has turned her life around and how many more individuals will be able to do the same, if they are provided with the education and information that is so desperately needed. This inspirational lady has kindly championed my work and now found her own space to support others experiencing menopause.
In her words, with her personal image and in her profession as a freelance riding coach and previously a semi professional rider.
Looking back now I can see that my perimenopause began in my early forties, with a growing lack of confidence, anxiety, emotional outbursts and broken sleep.
It began to have a serious impact on my competitive riding career as the anxiety became unbearable and I also suffered a few panic attacks.
All the initial symptoms I put down to other things that were happening in my life…the loss of my father and my grand prix horse in the same year hit me hard and the stress of life events most certainly made my symptoms worse.
Around 3 years ago things began to get worse and my periods became irregular. I had several UTIs and would get pain in my pelvic area including electric shock feelings.
Again this affected my riding and I had a few months when I couldn’t ride at all.
The following year things really kicked off and I suffered terribly with night sweats/chills, nausea, extremely scary heart palpitations, dizziness to the point of vertigo, I would run a temperature during the day and during the night I would get a dip in blood sugar levels and need to eat. I felt terrible! I was very unwell. It was at this point that I got in touch with my GP and went in for an examination.
To cut a long story short, my GP believed I was seriously ill and decided to do numerous blood tests (which I am grateful for). However, when I suggested if it could be the menopause, it was put to one side. I had yet more blood tests!
Finally, I persuaded her to let me try HRT. I got a prescription for some pills and off I went.
Within 4 days my symptoms had subsided and I was able to get back to work. Being self employed it was a worry taking time off even for a short while.
However, after several months I started feeling dizzy again, my muscles felt weak and ached, brain fog crept in and I felt exhausted all the time. I have never felt tiredness like that. The lack of sleep was still a problem too.
I went back to the GP but couldn’t see the same one. I had done a little research in the meantime and knew I needed the body identical HRT and a higher dose.
I was able to change the type of HRT but not get a much higher dose.
Things didn’t get any better.
However, my life was to change when I watched Davina McCall’s Channel 4 documentary.
I knew I needed a much higher dose of oestrogen and I needed testosterone. I made the decision to make an appointment with Dr Louise Newson’s clinic and it was the best decision I ever made.
I had to wait 3 months for the appointment and in that time my hormone levels had become ‘ barely detectable’ and I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue.
I had to stop working completely for months.
My muscles were so weak I slipped a disc in my back.
The brain fog was insane so I couldn’t teach…I would start a sentence and not know how to finish it.
I would spend days at a time in tears.
The fatigue completely knocked me off my feet and if I made it to lunchtime without collapsing I was doing well.
I had to have friends help look after the horses and I felt my business that I built up over 30 years slipping away.
It was devastating and there were days when I just didn’t want to exist.
However, I did get the right help eventually. I was able to have a high dose of oestrogen to build my levels back up, testosterone was added too and finding the right progesterone completed the mix.
It’s taken a good year to get the balance right but I now feel great and sleep better than ever!
It was scary how quickly a hormone deficiency could completely take my quality of life from me and nearly devastate my business. If it hadn’t been for the fact that I rent out my father’s old cottage I’m not sure how I would have survived, as I have no family to support me, but am so lucky to have some wonderful friends that looked out for me during what was, without question, the most difficult thing I have ever had to overcome in my life.
I am riding my horse again and slowly getting fitter and stronger, and relishing every minute!
I’m teaching again and feel on top of my game. I have more energy and motivation than I’ve had for years and finally my confidence is back and I feel like ME!
